Life After You
by moonlightserenity314
Summary: Edward was raped. Now, his past is catching up to him. When the Volturi get involved, things start to get ugly. Follow Edward and Demetri as they rediscover what it really means to live. AU SLASH MPREG
1. Chapter 1

Sometimes things happen that you just can't control. Sometimes the things you wish would happen don't happen. Sometimes the things you think are truth are not truth. And sometimes, things happen that you _can _control, but chose not to. Sometimes the things you wish would happen _do_ happen, and you wish it hadn't. Sometimes, the things you know as truth _are_ the truth, and you wish you never knew about it in the first place. Because sometimes, life is not what it seems, love is not how it should feel, and relationships are not what we perceive them to be.

I sighed and got off my bed, swaying slightly. Ever since Bella's funeral, I've been feeling weird and my balance has been off. Of course, no one knows about this as I haven't been out of my room for three weeks. There's no point anyway. Without her, I'm back to being lonely and abandoned. Everyone always leaves me in the end. Taking a step to my CD collection, something in my stomach protested and I turned and wrenched the door open, dashing to the bathroom.

As I emptied the contents in my stomach, I prayed no one was around to hear that. No such luck. There was a knock on the door and I looked up at my father, a slightly panicked expression on his face.

"Edward. What….how…." Carlisle seemed at a loss for words and I couldn't blame him. I'm a vampire! We don't get sick. I tried to get up but wasn't very successful; I was so tired and my limbs refused to cooperate.

Carlisle saw my struggle and hurried forward to help me up, only to have to catch me when my legs gave way. He bent down and scooped my up in his arms, cradling me like a child. For once, I didn't mind being treated like one. I was cold and tired and there was a feeling in my stomach, a feeling I haven't felt in a century. Hunger. I think I'm hungry.

"How're you feeling son?" Carlisle's eyes were filled with concern for me.

"I think I'm hungry. Not thirsty. Actually hungry." He looked surprised but didn't hesitate to carry me down the stairs and gently place me on the couch.

Just then, Alice and Jasper burst through the front door, followed by Rosalie, Emmett and Esme. "Edward! Oh my God, are you ok? What's happening Carlisle?" Alice asked, her voice filled with worry and confusion.

Esme went and sat beside me, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "What did you see Alice?" Carlisle asked.

"Edward getting sick! How is it possible?" Alice's voice sounded distressed and a calming wave spread through the room courtesy of Jasper. Em and Rose stood off to the side quietly, but from their thoughts I could tell they were worried too.

Just as Carlisle was about to say something, my stomach growled loudly and I looked down, embarrassed. "No one's doing anything until Edward is fed. Everything else can wait." Esme said, and I saw Carlisle lean in to tell her to get me something from the kitchen. Luckily we were stocked since…Bella…used to come over so often. Bella. I missed her.

Esme came back with a sandwich and a glass of water. I eyed it hungrily and saw Jasper's surprise at my sudden change in emotion. My whole family was watching as I devoured the sandwich and downed the water. They were all worried about me, but right then I was too tired to reassure them. Esme cleared away all the dirty plates

By now I was exhausted and I hardly even cared that the rest of my family was staring at me like they would a science experiment. My eyelids started to droop and I didn't have the energy to sit upright anymore. So, I slumped back on the couch and closed my eyes.

I could smell Carlisle and Rose nearby, but that didn't make sense. I was alone in the meadow wasn't I? Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw Carlisle sitting on the couch opposite me, with a worried expression on his face. How could I be at home? Wasn't I just in the meadow? Carlisle must've noticed my confusion because he got up and helped me sit up, so he could sit beside me. I didn't even notice I was lying down.

"You were asleep son. It was a dream." I gasped. That explains everything.

"What's happening to me?" He reached out and squeezed my knee reassuringly.

"I'm going to find out. For now, how are you feeling?" Horrible.

"I think I have to use the bathroom." Carlisle looked surprised for a second, then he nodded and his thoughts drifted towards me. _Edward looks exhausted. With all the human changes in him it shouldn't be a surprise he'd have to go. I should test his urine._

"Don't worry Dad, I pee into a cup or something." Carlisle just nodded, already used to my mindreading.

"Do you need help getting up?" The question was sincere, which was the problem. _Do I really look that bad?_ I shook my head and got up, maybe a little too fast since I swayed for a bit. Instantly, Carlisle was up and had a firm grip on my arm, in case I collapsed. I sighed and subtly leaned into him for support.

"Dad I'm fine. Really." He gave me a skeptical look.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Dad. I really have to go." It felt like my bladder was going to explode.

"Okay." He took a step back and I headed to the bathroom on slightly shaky legs.

After doing my business, I handed the sample to Carlisle and collapsed on the couch while he went to run some tests. Emmett and Jasper came and sat with me, keeping an eye on me while they discussed something trivial.

I was drifting in and out of consciousness when the front door banged and Alice waltzed in followed by Esme and Rosalie, each laden down with grocery bags. Honestly, I didn't understand why we needed more food; I was the only one eating anyway. Alice was waving a tub of strawberry ice cream at me, grinning like a fool. Strawberry. I didn't want to _eat_ that.

"Why did you buy me strawberry? I didn't even ask for ice cream Alice!" I glared at her shocked expression. Esme took the tub from her and extended it towards me.

"Next time I promise not to buy you things if you don't ask for them. But Alice thought you might like some ice cream. If you don't want it tell her, but don't yell at her, alright Edward?" Her words just made me more agitated and I glared at her and the stupid tub of ice cream.

"No! _You don't get it!_ What am I supposed to do with _that_? I don't _want_ it!" Why couldn't they understand that?

Anger flashed in Esme's eyes and behind her, my siblings' shocked expressions only made me angrier. "Edward, don't you dare yell at me. Do you understand? This was a kind gesture from your sister because she wanted to make you feel better. You have no right to be so rude." Esme's quiet and deadly voice ripped thought me. She's going to throw me out. She's going to throw me out because I was so rude to her and I'll never see her again. It hurt. No. No, I don't want to be thrown out. No!

"No, no Mom. Please don't throw me out. Please don't leave me!" My eyes filled with tears that spilled over. I felt Esme wrap her arms around me, her thoughts indicating she wasn't sure whether to comfort me or stay angry at me. The sobs increased as I threw my arms around her, not wanting her to let go. She didn't, so I cried myself to sleep in my mother's arms.

Something shifted under me and I opened my eyes to see my father standing by the couch opposite me with a grim expression. My siblings and Mom, who were all grouped around me, were watching Dad as well.

"What's wrong with me Dad? Am I turning human?" The idea hadn't occurred to me until now, but yes, I could possibly be turning human.

To my relief, he shook his head but his thoughts were bothering me. He found something with the tests; something that wasn't good but…. I couldn't reach it. He was blocking me. _I should just tell him_, he thought. I nodded eagerly in response. Carlisle took a deep breath to brace himself, then he looked me in the eyes and told me the most shocking news of my life.

"Edward you're pregnant." I felt my jaw drop and heard someone gasp loudly.

"Wh – what?" He couldn't be serious. I mean how would this be possible? I haven't even… _done it_ with anyone.

"Son, you're pregnant and I –", he was serious. That look on his face and the tone of his voice said it all. My stomach lurched and I jumped up, hoping to get to the bathroom in time, but my legs refused to support me. Jasper caught me and picked me up.

"Edward, bro. What is it?" Emmett was standing beside Jasper, who I was struggling against in my attempt to get to the bathroom.

"Bathroom." Thankfully, the word made its way out before the vomit did, and I clasped my hand over my mouth hoping to hold it in. Jasper carried me to the bathroom with vampire speed, in time for me to throw up in the sink.

When I was done, he handed me to Emmett who was standing in the doorway. Em took me from Jasper and carried me like a baby, trying to make me as comfortable as possible. As soon as he had me situated he glanced up at Jasper with wide eyes and proceeded to give me more shocking information.

"Your skin's warmer Edward. Not as warm as a human's but slightly warmer than it used to be." And it was true. I could feel the temperature difference between us and it scared me. Everything was so confusing.

Suddenly there were footsteps and Esme breezed into the room, giving me a peck on the cheek and stroking my hair. Then she turned to Jasper and shooed him away from the sink.

"Let me do that dear. You go back to the living room with Emmett and Edward."

I watched all this through half-lidded eyes, already exhausted. Jasper and Emmett headed back to the living room, but half way there, a chill ran through me and I shivered. Emmett felt it, and hugged me tighter to him while Jasper gave me a sympathetic look.

Back in the living room, Emmett placed me gently on the couch, while Jasper got a blanket and tucked me into it. Rose and Alice watched with worried looks and Carlisle sighed heavily.

"Carlisle, do you know who the father is?" Rosalie asked, curious.

He got up and sat down beside me, rubbing my arm soothingly. "I'm guessing it's someone from the pack, since the fetus is making Edward's organs work. Only a werewolf's temperature could manage that." This was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.

**Tell me, do you want me to keep going? Is it any good? Review! **


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Emmett carried me downstairs and Esme tried to feed me breakfast but it all came back up not twenty minutes after I'd eaten. Everyone was worried; it was all they would think about. Sighing, I watched Carlisle walk down the stairs and come towards the couch where I was sitting. There was an apologetic expression on his face.

"Good morning Edward. How are you feeling today son?" he asked.

I shot him a wary look and answered slowly, "Fine…."

Carlisle shook his head, obviously knowing that I suspected something was wrong and his next words proved me right. "We have to tell the pack today. I already talked to Sam last night; we're meeting at the treaty line this evening."

His words shocked me, but I didn't know why they should. All the breath whooshed out of me and I sat there gaping at him like a fool. For some reason I couldn't quite form, I didn't want them to know about the baby. Just the thought had me breathing faster in a panic.

"What? No, no we can't tell them! They can't know; I don't want them to know." My thoughts wandered down the dark path of destruction where everything bad that could possibly happen happened. _What if they didn't accept it? What if they hurt my baby? They can't hurt my baby! I won't _let_ them hurt my baby._

Carlisle's eyes softened and he rubbed my arm soothingly. "Son, one of them is the father. They have a right to know." I agreed with that but for some reason, I didn't want the father of this child to know. Shaking my head, I placed a hand on my stomach but I knew I was fighting a losing battle. So that's how I ended up in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes watching my family and the wolves face each other off before discussing my predicament.

"What's this about?" Sam, standing in the centre between Jacob and Seth asked. He sounded as impatient as Jacob looked. Standing behind Jacob was Paul, a scowl on his face.

The sight of him made me panic and I started to shake all over. Because I suddenly remembered what he had done to me. How he had followed me out to the woods after Bella's funeral and…_did that_ to me. Taken by surprise, I couldn't stop him, and so he had his way with me. More than once. Then, he had poured a foul liquid down my throat, telling me not to worry because I wouldn't remember this at all when I woke up. But I remember now. And then it hit me. My baby was a product of a…_rape_.

This revelation could only have taken seconds but already my whole world seemed to have shifted yet again. Carlisle had yet to answer Sam's question but already, I wanted to go home. I whimpered quietly but no one heard, too intent on listening to Carlisle speak.

"My son Edward is pregnant and the father is someone from the pack."Carlisle stated seriously.

There was a loaded silence, followed by loud laughter from every single person on the other side of the line. Then, Sam spoke, doubt in his voice. "Someone from the pack mating with a vampire? You're joking and the last time I checked, wasn't Edward a _guy_?" Again, more laughing. Carlisle sighed and shook his head.

"Emmett, help Edward out of the car. They need to know we're not joking." Emmett nodded and headed over to me; opening the door and holding his arms out in invitation. I pouted lightly and scooted closer to him, locking my arms around his neck. He scooped my up and kicked the door closed. As soon as I got outside, the stench of the mutts assaulted me, and it was so much worse than before. I stopped breathing and watched their reactions as the wind carried my scent to them.

They recognized immediately that I carried one of them inside me. All of their thoughts were shocked and they were all thinking something along the lines of "_How is this possible?"_ and "_Who's the Dad?"_ Everyone except Paul. I couldn't bring myself to look directly at him but I could feel his stare boring into me. His thoughts stung like bees and I clung to Emmett whimpering slightly but even then, I couldn't escape his thoughts.

_So he's pregnant. Well what do you know? Never knew he was such a freak. It doesn't matter anyway does it? I'm not going to have _anything_ to do with that monster spawn. They can do whatever they want with it._

His thoughts were so hurtful and I gasped, the scent of the wolves flooding my senses. I gagged and leaned over to throw up on the grass at Emmett's feet. Esme came over and stroked my hair soothingly, sympathy in her eyes.

Once I had stopped vomiting, Carlisle spoke again. "I would like to find out who the father of the baby is. Is there a way to do that?" He directed his question at Sam but I told him instead.

"It's Paul." My voice sounded feeble, frail and it broke on _his_ name but I knew everyone heard me. Carlisle came over and took my hand in his asking me if I was sure, which I was. Somehow, his skin didn't feel as cool to me as it did this morning and an alarmed expression crossed his face. He rubbed my hand, trying to warm me up but just then, a cool breeze blew through and I shivered violently. Emmett hugged me tighter to him while Carlisle squeezed my hand trying to find a solution.

Sam spoke up, mild concern lacing his voice. "There isn't a way to determine the father before the child is born but we can confirm Edward's suspicion. Bring him over here."

Emmett handed me over to Carlisle, who carried me to the treaty line directly in front of Sam. Paul had a disgusted look on his face due to my close proximity and I didn't like it either. It made me jumpy being this close to him and the cold fury I could see in his face scared me.

"Okay Paul. I want you to tell me if you feel any sort of connection to him. And don't lie to me because I will know when we phase and I'll have access to your thoughts." Sam ordered with a slight threat in his voice.

Paul scoffed and gave Sam a withering look. "I'm not going to lie to you Sam. Yes, I slept with the leech. Why do you think I've been avoiding phasing with you guys lately? Let me just say, the leech is a good plaything." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him leer at me and I shuddered, burying my face in Carlisle's shirt. His words earned growls from my family and my father held me tighter to him, in response to my distress as well as the shivering, which had increased during the short period we were standing here.

"I have to get him home, he's freezing out here." Carlisle said quickly. He turned to go back to the car but Paul stepped closer to him, being careful to stay on his side of the line. His scent was my undoing. I would forever associate that smell with pain. His hand was an inch from touching me and I panicked, struggling against my father in an attempt to get away from the threat.

Carlisle backed away quickly and rocked me like a small child while glaring daggers at Paul. I grabbed his shirt, looking for something to ground me and felt his chest vibrate as he spoke. "You will not come near my son ever again." His tone was cold and final, and the next thing I knew he was placing me in the backseat of the Mercedes, Jasper and Alice climbing in on the other side.

All of my family's thoughts were angry and incredulous, mirroring my own, but suddenly, it all stopped. I gasped, my ears straining to hear something, but that familiar buzzing was gone. "Carlisle, I can't hear anything." My voice sounded scratchy; it was just a whisper.

My father glanced at me in the rear view mirror, alarmed. "Edward, what do you mean you can't hear anything?" He asked, panicked. Probably thought I'd gone deaf or something, and it was my own fault. I should've been more specific.

"Can't hear thoughts…anymore…" I was exhausted and talking was taking a lot out of me. My eyes closed and I rested my heavy head on Jasper's shoulder, his arm came up to wrap around me, giving me support.

"Edward, Edward can you hear me?" Jasper asked, his lips right by my ear.

"Mmm."I opened my eyes slowly. "Want to sleep." At this point, I was too tired to keep my eyes opened and Jasper squeezed my shoulder gently.

"Go to sleep, son. I'll figure this out for you. I promise." Carlisle vowed; his soothing voice helped to lull me to sleep. A wave of lethargy swept over me and I let it carry my away.

This time, when I woke up there were blankets piled on top of me and Carlisle was sitting on a chair by my bed. But the biggest difference was the silence. There were no voices assaulting me, no thoughts telling what was going on, nothing.

"Carlisle, why can't I hear anything?" I asked, struggling to sit up. I realized it was slightly easier but not so easy that I refused when Carlisle reached forward to help me.

"I don't know Edward. " He sighed, sounding tired. "All we have to go on are myths and legends as something like this has never happened before. They tell us that if a vampire and a werewolf...sleep together, the one who is…receiving…may become impregnated whether male or female."Carlisle sounded uncomfortable and I hated to make him more uncomfortable but I just didn't understand. _What was that about receiving? And how could the receiver become pregnant? I mean, what did they receive?_

"I…don't understand… What do you mean the one who is _receiving_?" I cocked my head slightly to the side, staring at him completely confused. My father looked so uncomfortable I knew he would've blushed if he could've. Downstairs, I heard Emmett guffaw loudly and I knew I was missing something.

Carlisle cleared his throat and when he looked at me, he had his doctor face on. "The bottom Edward. In a heterosexual relationship, this is the female. In a homosexual relationship, this is the person who allows – " My eyes widened as I understood what my father was trying to explain to me and _why_ it made him so embarrassed. If I were human I would've been beet red.

"Oh." The sound passed my lips as barely a whisper and Carlisle patted my hand sympathetically. Downstairs, Emmett was laughing harder and even Jasper was chuckling quietly.

I pouted and Carlisle laughed, kissed the top of my head and helped me lay back down. "Get some sleep son. You need it." With that, he left, leaving the door open.

After a couple of hours of laying on my bed thinking about my baby and how much I loved it already and about my pregnancy and how impossible it was, I struggled up to join my family in the living room. Honestly, I was content to lay there on my bed all day but the longer I stayed there, the more times thoughts of _Paul_ and what he did to me kept popping up, and I didn't want to deal with those.

Considering my luck so far, it would be a smart idea to ask for someone to come help me down but I didn't want to bother them with my problems. Besides, the stairs weren't so far from my room and I could probably make it down two flights of stairs. I mean, I wasn't an invalid.

Throwing the covers off and getting ungracefully out of bad, I prayed that my legs would support me, and thankfully they did, although they were shaking like a leaf in the wind. I walked at a slightly slower-than-human pace, as I couldn't manage anything else, to the stairs but by the time I got there, I was exhausted. My body swayed and I leaned on the railing for support. Downstairs, I could hear Emmett and Jasper playing the X-box, Alice and Rosalie discussing clothes, and Carlisle and Esme talking about having a grandchild and how amazing it was.

Everyone sounded so happy and carefree, and this made me feel sad, isolated, alone. Rejected. A wave of dizziness hit me and I gripped the railing harder, hoping to keep upright. The sound of the X-box cut off and Emmett asked Jasper where he was going. Then, there were footsteps, getting closer to me, and Jasper was standing at the top of the stairs, calming waves spreading through me. Letting go of the railing, I took a step towards him, which was a mistake because as soon as I let go of the railing, the floor was rushing up to meet me. Before I could hit the ground though, he caught me and picked me up, shaking his head at me like I should've known better, which I should've.

"You shouldn't exhaust yourself Edward. Why didn't you just ask for help?" Jasper asked.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest. "I didn't want to disturb anyone."I responded, feebly. Downstairs, all conversations stopped as Jasper sighed, exasperated.

"Edward, you wouldn't be disturbing anyone if you asked for help. Everyone knows you are in no condition to be walking down two flights of stairs and we're all _willing_ to help." I opened my eyes and looked up at him, trying to thank him silently. "Where were you going?" His voice was softer this time, more soothing.

"Downstairs." I tried to hide the self pity in my voice but I don't think I succeeded much. He started down the stairs and I closed my eyes, knowing everyone else was staring at me. Me who couldn't even get down two flights of stairs. How pathetic.

**I would really appreciate it if you guys took the time to review *hint hint* I like knowing what other people think about my writing. Constructive criticism is always welcome too! Really, I just wanna know if you guys were surprised this chapter?**


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Jasper carried me downstairs again and placed me gently on the couch between him and Emmett, while Esme came over and gave me a motherly hug. She asked me what I wanted for breakfast, her question seeming to spark something in me.

"Eggs, pickles and vanilla ice cream!" I replied, grinning. The others chuckled at my choice and Esme went to get my food.

"Edward. How are you feeling today son?" Carlisle asked from his place in the armchair.

For some strange reason, I felt ecstatic today and felt the need to share my happiness with everyone. "I feel great Carlisle." I told him, happily. My father chuckled, seeming to be pleased with my mood. Just then Esme came back with my food, handing it to me with a gentle smile at my elated expression.

I shoveled the food in, not caring that everyone was watching me, and leaned back into the couch when I was done. Rosalie and Alice cleared away the dishes as my brothers teased me about my eating habits. It's not like I can help how much I eat anyway!

Sitting there with my family, laughing and joking, almost made me forget about what _Paul_ had done to me. It was just the right thing I needed, but there must be some unwritten law that sates that any one person cannot be too happy for an extended period of time. In the middle of telling Alive she would never have permission to dress my baby like a Barbie doll, I felt the need to throw up and clapped my hand over my mouth.

Jasper thrust a bucket into my lap, which I promptly threw up in; desperately hoping this would be over soon. Leaning back on the couch, I watched as Esme took the bucket into the kitchen and felt Rosalie rubbing soothing circles on my back.

Belatedly, I realized that the seats on either side of me were occupied and looked over at her to see that she had settled herself in Emmett's lap, leaning over with a concerned expression to rub my back. The sight was both amusing and touching and I gave her a small smile of gratitude. She smiled back and a blanket of calm settled around the room.

I was tired again, even though I had just gotten up four hours ago. This baby was really taking a lot out of me, but I wouldn't give it up for the world. Closing my eyes, I rested my head in Rose's lap and fell asleep to the soothing feeling of her fingers running thorough my hair.

Raised voices woke me up. I immediately recognized my father's voice but the other speaker was a mystery to me. Grumbling slightly, I opened my eyes to see none other than Jacob Black standing in the living room, an irritated expression on his face. Abruptly, the talking stopped and Emmett helped me sit up so that I was facing the rest of the room. Jacob was glaring daggers at me, a low growl at the back of his throat.

I already knew he hated me; I hated him too, but did he have to be so angry? It wasn't _my_ fault I'm pregnant, it was _Paul's_. This fact however, seemed to escape his notice, as he continued to glare at me murderously. Tears filled my eyes and I was so angry at myself for crying just because Jacob Black was glaring at me. For once I was glad I couldn't read minds, since I'm sure the thoughts in his head would've made the tears spill over. Stupid hormones.

Jasper and Emmett must've seen my distress because Emmett pulled me closer to him, growling softly while Jasper took a step closer to Jacob. I could tell he was about to say something but Carlisle interrupted before he could.

"Get out of my house Jacob. I don't care what you came here to do. None of you are allowed to be on our lands. Paul broke the treaty. My son was _raped_!" I flinched at this and Emmett rubbed my arm, Jasper sending me calming waves.

"You're lucky we haven't decided to attack your pack. But mark my words, if any of you come near a member of this family again, we won't hesitate to start a war." Carlisle threatened menacingly.

Jacob sneered and glanced at me. "Fine, I'm leaving. But just so you know, we will not be helping you with this. You may have heard that we value our children but _this_ isn't a child. _This_ is a monster." I gasped at that, one hand going to my belly where my baby currently resided.

A monster. He called my baby a monster. I wanted to get up and rip him limb from limb for calling my baby such an insulting word, but that never happened. Instead, the tears that had collected in my eyes spilled over and I cried brokenly, clutching my belly as if I could protect my unborn child from such harmful words.

Emmett's chest vibrated as he growled loudly and Rosalie lunged forward, towards Jacob with a murderous expression on her face. She never made it there though, as Carlisle restrained her. Smirking at me, Jacob turned and left without a backwards glance.

I turned into my brother's chest and sobbed loudly, one hand fisting his shirt while the other rested protectively over my belly. He held me tight and rubbed circles on my back as Rosalie ran a hand through my hair. A sudden strong wave of lethargy hit me and my eyelids started to droop. Being comforted by my siblings was soothing and the familiar scents of my family were comforting. I was tired; the emotions of the day catching up with me despite having just woken up _again_ half an hour ago. Rosalie started humming an old lullaby to me, and the melody was gentle, seeming to fill up the quiet that had suddenly descended on the room. It relaxed me and I drifted deeper into the darkness' waiting arms.

I woke up in my bed, snuggled under the warm blankets and a feeling of unease at the pit of my stomach. Hopefully, I would be able to stay awake for a full day today, instead of sleeping half the day away. After laying there for a few minutes waiting for someone to come, I struggled to sit up on my own, succeeding.

It was then that I realized what the problem was. The whole house was dead silent. No one was even breathing and I started to panic. My family. They wouldn't have let me alone in the house, would they? Am I a lot of trouble? I must be if they felt the need to get away from me. It must be so troublesome to have to carry me around everywhere…. Have they abandoned me?

That last thought made my breathing speed up and tears well up in my eyes. More tears that I just couldn't stop shedding. Rolling out of bed, I clutched the footboard to keep from falling and made my way to the stairs, using the wall as support. Maybe they're just outside. I just have to make it downstairs.

By the time I'd made it to the top of the stairs, I was a mess. Exhausted, sobbing, and shaking from the cold, it was too much work to stand anymore and I sagged forward, knowing I was about to fall down the stairs. Before I could hit the floor though, a pair of strong arms caught me. Emmett's scent surrounded me as he rocked me, making soothing noises, which only made me cry harder.

Eventually, my sobs diminished into hiccups and I glanced up at my brother's distressed expression, surprised to find that we were sitting on the couch in the living room. Emmett rubbed calming circles on my back and I leaned my head on his chest, feeling the rest of my family's concerned stares boring into me. It seemed they hadn't abandoned me after all.

Emmett's voice was uncharacteristically quiet and gentle when he spoke, as if he was afraid to upset me. "Edward what's wrong? Why didn't you ask for help if you wanted to go downstairs?"

I shivered from the cold and instantly, a warn blanket was settled around me. Burrowing into it, I closed my eyes, and leaned heavily on Emmett, shaking my head while trying to come up with something to tell him. "I…didn't want to…disturb anyone…." I replied quietly. My voice sounded frail, scratchy, and barely above a whisper.

Emmett wrapped the blanket more tightly around my shaking frame and pulled me more securely into his chest. A blanket of peace settled ever the room, courtesy of Jasper, and my brother's reply was tinged with sadness. "Edward, you wouldn't be disturbing anyone if you asked for help. Do you hear me?"

He paused and I looked up at him, to see his eyes soften slightly. "You are not a burden to anyone, Edward. We would do anything to protect you. _And_ that baby. Now do you want to tell me why you were so upset?"

Emmett was still rubbing my back and I felt Jasper squeeze my shoulder. The rest of our family was surprisingly silent but I knew they were listening to every word I said. Ducking my head, I burrowed further into the blanket. "It's stupid…" I told them.

Jasper came and knelt in front of me, his hands on my knees. "Something that made you cry so much cannot possibly be stupid. Tell us Edward." His voice held so much concern for me and the hands rubbing my back were soothing. I didn't know how I ever believed that such good people could ever abandon me.

"When I woke up, it was so quiet. No one was moving and I thought maybe you all…left." As that last word left my mouth, I saw Jasper's eyes harden and Emmett's hands stilled. Behind us, I heard Carlisle sigh sadly and Esme made a sound of distress, while Alice and Rosalie whispered my name exasperatedly. Trembling slightly, I buried my face in Emmett's chest. Now I'd made them angry.

Silence reigned before Jasper's quiet and deadly voice cut through the air. "You thought we'd gotten bored of you. You thought we were annoyed that you required so much attention, so we left. Abandoned you."

I nodded into Emmett's chest; a couple of stray tears leaking out. My oldest brother brought his large hand up to wipe away the tears before tightening his grip on me. Jasper's words had pierced straight through me. He hadn't gotten a single thing wrong.

Emmett's chest rose and fell as he sighed, and he brought a hand up to my hair, stroking lightly, the way Carlisle did. "Even after so many years, you're still convinced we're going to up and leave one day."

"Who's hurt you, Edward, to cause you such pain?" Jasper's voice, like Emmett's, was sad, and I hated to be the cause of that. Of my brothers' despair.

Uncomfortable, I changed the subject. "Why was it so quiet? Where was everyone?" I glanced up in time to catch the significant looks my brothers were exchanging, and I felt Emmett exhale before responding.

"We were here Edward. We never left." _They never left?_ But everything was so _quiet_. I must've looked extremely confused because a resigned expression crossed Japser's face and he took one of my hands in his.

"Alice saw something. Something bad. We were all shocked, that's all." Alice saw something… Something bad….

"What exactly did Alice see?" I asked. Jasper's expression was guarded and Emmett's grip on me tightened. They were hiding something from me and I wanted to know what. "Please? Please tell me. Jasper, Emmett, please."

It was Emmett who finally answered, his voice filling my ear and what he said knocked all the wind out of me. "The Volturi are coming. Not all of them, just a couple of the guard. We're assuming it's to check up on Bella."

Strangely, the thought of Bella didn't hurt as much as it used to. There was no reason for the Volturi to stay because Bella was gone but…_the baby._ Breathless, I only managed to get out one word. "When?"

Jasper squeezed my hand in reassurance, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. "Maybe four months from now."

Four months from now. Four months from now when the baby will most likely be big enough that I'll start showing. When I'll probably have a baby bump. When it'll be so obvious that there's something wrong with me. My baby. Instinctively, my hands shot to my stomach, and the world seemed to be spinning. My family was surrounding me, telling me everything would be alright while Jasper's reassuring waves spread through me.

Eventually, I'd calmed down enough, and opened my eyes to see Carlisle standing behind Jasper; one arm stretched towards me and anguish in his eyes. It was the pain that did me in. I hated to see the hurt in my father's eyes, especially because I knew I was the cause of it. I whimpered, and someone ran their hand through my hair; and then the sobs started. Huge, wracking sobs shook my body violently, and I reached out blindly for my father.

He wrapped his arms around me and settled me on his lap, rocking me slowly. My hands clenched his shirt as tight as I could and I burrowed further into his shirt. I was drowning in my ocean of hatred and self loathing.

The rocking stopped as the blanket was tightened around me and then it started again. We stayed that way, my father and I, until my tears had finally run dry. My family having saved me from drowning in my sorrow.

**Okay. Feel free to hate me. Go ahead, I hate myself too. Seriously, I have no excuse for not updating in such a long time. Absolutely none. I'm sorry! Please, please review? **


	4. Chapter 4

**There's gonna be a time jump this chapter. It's four months later and things are about to get interesting!**

Over the next couple of months, everything was relatively peaceful, although the vomiting never stopped and I'd started having nightmares. Nightmares about my beautiful baby dying, about my family leaving me without saying a word. Just like _he_ did so many years ago. I'd started thinking about_ him_ a lot lately, and sometimes that sense of abandonment I've suppressed for so long would hit me and I wouldn't be able to breathe. Every time, I'd end up sobbing in the arms of the closest family member to witness my distress. They were all worried, I knew they were, but I couldn't talk about it. It hurt too much.

Carlisle had taken to spending as much time as he could trying to figure why I wouldn't stop vomiting. I suppose it made him feel better about not being able to help _me_ feel better. As for my siblings, they occupied themselves by making sure I never woke up alone. After that day Alice had the vision, they never left me unaided; someone was always in the room with me. Whether it was Alice with her bubbly personality, Emmett with his tight hugs and light jokes, Rosalie with her kind words and soothing gestures or Jasper with his calm presence. I was never alone, and for that, I was very grateful.

Esme spent her time making me food and dealing with the part of the wolf pack that would tolerate my presence. It turns out, not all of the wolves had a problem with my baby. Seth, Leah and Embry, for example, had no problem with me, despite their rude welcome the first time they visited.

_It was two months after Alice had that dreadful vision, and I was sitting on the couch with Esme and Carlisle talking about the baby. Esme kept insisting that we should at least buy a crib for the baby soon and I had agreed immediately. Carlisle had chuckled and he looked like he was about to say something when we heard footsteps approaching the porch._

"_Who could that possibly be?" Esme asked. My siblings ran into the room, at glaring at the door hatefully._

"_Mutts." Alice replied. _

_By now, the wolves had reached the door and three knocks resonated around the house. My family all shared worried looks before Esme went to open the door, Carlisle and Jasper following her like shadows._

_To my surprise, it wasn't Jacob or Paul on the other side of the door, but rather, Seth, Leah and Embry. They didn't appear to be a threat but Jasper still seemed to be on guard. _

"_What are you doing here?" he growled at them. _

_Embry raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "Hey, no need for that. We're just here to see how Edward is doing." _

"_We mean you no harm." Seth chimed in._

_I could see my father considering their words carefully before he nodded and stepped aside warily to let them in. In response to this, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice gathered in front of me, forming a protective shield in case they were lying to us. _

"_We're serious you know. We just wanted to see how he was doing. I may not like you leeches much, but what Paul did was wrong. No one should have to go through something like that." Leah stated angrily. I was surprised as she didn't seem like the type of person to be checking up on me because her pack member…raped me._

"_We're just here to offer our help if you ever need it." Seth added._

_From behind Alice, I locked eyes with him and gave him a small smile of gratitude. "Thank you."_

_Seth smiled at me. "No need to thank us Edward. I know you don't deserve to be ridiculed like this. Don't mind Paul, he's been really violent these days for some reason. It's aggravating and really scary sometimes. And Jake's probably being mean to you because he blames you for Bella's death."_

_I sighed sadly. Of course Jacob blames me for Bella's death. I was supposed to be protecting her, but I couldn't even do that. Instead, I watched as Victoria threw her down a cliff as if she was an unwanted rag doll. Sometimes, I still saw it in my mind; me twenty feet away and Bella going over the side of the cliff. I'd jumped in after her, but it was already too late. She'd hit her head on a sharp piece of the cliff and died instantly._

"_You know no one really blames you for that Edward. We know you did the best you could to protect her." Embry said quietly. _

_Alice rubbed my back and hugged me gently. I hugged her back and smiled slightly. "Thank you for not hating me. It's good to know someone other than my family cares." Carlisle came to stand beside me running his hand soothingly through my unruly hair._

"_While I have you here, I'd just like to tell you that more of our kind will be coming soon. In about two months to be exact. They are called the Volturi. Think of them like the rulers of the vampire world. They set our laws and give punishments as they see fit." Carlisle interjected._

"_What do you want us to do about them?" Leah asked, a little guardedly._

"_Nothing. We expect you to do nothing. I felt you had a right to know that other are coming. Edward cannot be associated with you in any ways as it would only lead to a battle; and he is in no shape to be fighting."_

"_That's why you didn't attack Paul isn't it? I've been wondering why you didn't kill him when you had the chance." Embry mused._

_I saw my father nod, an approving look on his face. "That is correct. Even if Edward didn't fight, there is still a chance that he could get hurt and I won't risk my son's life." Carlisle squeezed my shoulder reassuringly and I gave him a small smile._

"_Don't get this the wrong way though. I would've gladly beaten him into the ground for even touching my brother if circumstances were different." Emmett growled furiously._

_At this, Seth held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Hey, I don't blame you." _

"_It's good to know not all of you mutts are idiots." Rosalie said, a small smirk on her face as Leah laughed in response._

"_Now we have allies on the other side! Good. We'll need all the help we can get." Alice said rather enthusiastically. _

"_Well it's good to see you're not doing too badly. We really should be going now, though. Before they notice we're gone." Leah said._

"_Feel free to call us if you need any help. You have our numbers." Seth added._

_Carlisle had nodded, smiling gratefully at them. Then, they'd said their goodbyes and left._

After that day, Seth, Leah and Embry came over quite often, helping us find out how it was possible for me to be pregnant. Needless to say, they didn't find out anything useful yet. Embry had brought some old texts from his house, hoping to find some answers. So far, they haven't had any luck.

Now, I sat here on my bed, fondly rubbing the small baby bump I'd developed over the months. Of course, with the baby bump, came the Volturi's impending visit.

It was ironic that I was thinking this when I heard footsteps on the porch followed by a knock on the door. From my place in my room, I could hear Carlisle greet Jane, and my hands shot up to rest on my stomach protectively. Yes, how ironic that I was thinking of them just a moment ago, as if my thoughts had somehow predicted their arrival. Below, there were more footsteps and then Jane spoke.

"Carlisle. Aro has told me so much about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

There was a moment of silence where Carlisle must've nodded his head in thanks and Jane's next sentence had me biting my lip; my hands instinctively rubbing circles on my belly.

"Now, about our visit. Caius wishes to see that you have kept your promise. Has the human been turned?"

"Where _is_ the fragile little girl? I can't smell her anywhere." Felix's tone was friendly but there was an undercurrent of hostility as well. For once, I was glad Bella was no longer with us.

"Bella is dead. A nomad, Victoria, has killed her." Alice's voice still held grief for our recent loss and I felt guilty that she missed Bella more than I did.

"Well now, that's a shame isn't it? Poor Edward must be devastated. Speaking of which, where is he? He appears to be missing." Jane didn't sound the least bit remorseful and when she asked about me there was only curiosity in her voice. However, I knew too well that appearances could be deceiving.

A long pause followed her enquiry and I had the distinct impression that no one in my family really knew how to respond. Then Carlisle answered. "He is upstairs. He refuses to leave his room."

"How rude. I wish to see him, to share my condolences for his loss." This time, there was an obvious edge to her voice that couldn't be ignored and I trembled slightly.

"He can hear you." Emmett sounded angry and this must've tipped Jane over the edge because her voice was more forceful the next time she spoke.

"I _said_ I wish to see him. Now!" Someone sighed before there were footsteps heading up the stairs, getting closer to my room.

Then, Jasper was in the doorway, a worried expression on his face. He came to stand in front of me, putting a hand on top of mine, which was resting on my stomach. I understood the message clearly. _Don't be afraid, we'll protect you. _Reaching for him, I tried to tell him with my eyes how grateful I was. Jasper smiled at me gently before scooping me up and heading downstairs. I buried my face in his shirt, seeking some form of protection, but when Jasper stopped walking, I felt the need to look up.

And there _he_ was. Right there in the living room, staring at me with an unreadable expression, his mouth slightly open. I shivered and his name slipped past my lips effortlessly. "Demetri." He took a step towards me and I whimpered, which caused Emmett and Jasper to growl menacingly. There was a tense moment where Demetri and I studied each other carefully before Jane spoke.

"Well, well. What do we have here? It appears there is something wrong with you, Edward." Jane's dangerously soft voice stated. I flinched at his and Carlisle, Rose and Emmett moved to block me from Jane. Alice and Esme came to stand close to Jasper in a silent show of support.

"There is nothing wrong with Edward." Carlisle paused and shot me an apologetic look over his shoulder, seeming to be weighing the pros and cons of revealing our secret. In the end he decided to continue. "He is…pregnant." I heard Demetri gasp and saw Felix's eyes widen, his gaze zeroing in on my very noticeable bump.

"No way. He's a guy! And a _vampire_. This just…makes…no sense." Felix sounded shocked and Jane had a dangerous glint in her red eyes. I couldn't bring myself to look at Demetri again, so I couldn't see his reaction.

"Well it's true. As you can obviously see. So what're _you_ going to do about it?" Rosalie challenged. Jane hissed at her and stared at me, narrowing her eyes.

"Do you know who the father is?" There was a threat in her voice, which got a growl from Jasper as he held me tighter. My brother answered Jane with a single, short, clipped word.

"No." AT this, Felix laughed raucously and Jane narrowed her eyes further while I buried my face in Jasper's shirt again. He sent me soothing waves and I held onto him tighter. Jane's bell-like voice rang through the room.

"Then one of us will have to stay here to observe him until it is decided what we'll do. Since neither Felix nor I have the desire to leave Volterra, Demetri will stay. That won't be a… inconvenience. Will it?" It was clear from her tone that we had no choice but to concede. Just the thought of _him_ being here every day. To hear his voice and see him interact with my family and know that he's not mine – would never be mine – hurt. It hurt so much, like my heart was breaking all over again. A tear leaked out of my eye and landed on Jasper's shirt while he rocked me subtly in response to my distress.

"It would be no problem at all. Demetri is welcome here." Carlisle was playing his part as the ever generous host.

"Good. Felix, get Demetri's things from the car." Jane demanded in a casual tone of voice. I heard the front door open and shut a while later. Felix had returned and I hoped they would all leave now.

"It was nice meeting you Carlisle. But it's time the leave. Come Felix." Two sets of footsteps moved towards the door, which opened and closed again, the sound resonating around the room, followed by a moment of deafening silence.

It was a shock to see Demetri again after so many years and to hear his voice again, after having been deprived of it for so long, evoked in me a chaotic mix of emotions. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what I was feeling.

"Edward. Please look at me. Please Edward." I could never deny Demetri when he pleaded with me, and even after all these years, I still couldn't say no to him. It was with this thought that I reluctantly left my hiding place in Jasper's shirt to see the man who had left me all those years ago. As expected, he hadn't changed at all.

A strong, lean body, full lips, messy black hair, high cheekbones, a strong jaw. It was his eyes that had changed. Instead of the burning gold color they once were, they were now red with gold flecks here and there. In these eyes, I saw such anguish, remorse, confusion and pain. So many conflicting emotions swam in their bottomless depths that I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but he had left me. It wasn't my place to comfort him anymore.

Demetri took a step towards me, my name falling like honey from his lips. I shook my head frantically, wishing that his was just a dream, but at the same time, hoping that his was really happening. My next words were a whisper of pain.

"You left." The tears were coming and through my blurry vision, I could see Demetri's guilt and pain at my words, could feel Jasper rocking me gently, his body tense because of Demetri's presence. Beside me, Alice growled softly while someone ran a hand up and down my arm.

After placing a soft kiss on the top of my head, my father said he'd show Demetri his room and he moved out of my line of sight. I couldn't see him anymore and now I was crying in earnest. Gently, I felt Jasper pass me to Esme, who had settled herself down on the couch. Burying my face in my mother's lap, I felt her rub circles on my back and we stayed like that until my tears subsided into hiccups.

Alice's soft voice rang through the air, her question one I wasn't ready to answer. "What did he do to you Edward?"

I shook my head at her in protest. Right now, the pain was so raw that I didn't know how to deal with it, but I could offer her two words. Two simple words that were ultimately the answer she was seeking. "He left." I whispered, my voice breaking at the end.

Looking up at her, I saw her confusion tinged with sadness before I snuggled into my mother and closed my eyes in an attempt to escape from the harsh reality that was my life.

**So here it is! Please tell me what you think because I love to hear back from my readers. By the way, how am I doing with Demetri so far? **


	5. Chapter 5

When I woke up, it was to the sound of Carlisle and Demetri's voices. I'd recognize it anywhere; the low, lilting baritone that had been my music for 5 short years. My father and Demetri were talking about something in low voices and it took me a while to realize that the something they were talking about was me. Listening to his voice brought back so many memories; happy memories which were now tainted by the feeling of abandonment and betrayal. I shifted slightly and opened my eyes, gaining their attention. Abruptly, the talking stopped Carlisle appeared above me, running his hand through my hair.

"How are you feeling son?" my father asked worriedly.

I gave him a small smile and told him "fine." Carlisle seemed apprehensive and I guess it had something to do with Demetri's sudden reappearance. However, his next words told me it was so much more.

"Edward, Demetri wants to talk to you. I think you should hear him out, but this is your decision to make. Are you ready to see him?" And there is was: the big question. I didn't think I would ever be able to see him without hurting but I wanted answers. An explanation. Closure. So I took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

Carlisle planted a kiss on my forehead and helped me sit up, propping the pillows up to support my back. He smoothed the blankets over me, rubbing circles on my bump in the process, gave my hand a soft squeeze of reassurance and left after shooting Demetri an incomprehensible look.

The door clicked shut and for the first time in so many years, I was alone in my room with Demetri. It was both familiar and unsettling at the same time. It was familiar because we used to spend hours or sometimes days in my room just talking about everything and anything before he left. Unsettling because of this familiarity. I still felt so comfortable with him, but I knew I shouldn't because he probable didn't feel the same way. At least, not anymore.

Biting my bottom lip, I looked down at the bed, rubbing circles on my belly. Demetri's smooth voice broke the heavy silence that had enveloped the room. "Edward. Edward I'm so sorry I left you. And I know. I know this by no means makes up for the pain I have caused you but…. I'm sorry." There was genuine remorse in his voice, which made me feel a tiny bit better but his words annoyed me. They more than annoyed me, they made me furious. Anger welled up inside me like a volcano just waiting to erupt. Looking up at him, at his expression of pained guilt, did me in.

"How dare you. How dare you think that saying sorry will make up for all the pain you caused! You have _no right_ to waltz back into my life and expect to be forgiven! Do you know how long I waited for you to come back? Do you know how long I held on to the hope that you would return? Three years Demetri! _Three years!_ You told me you loved me! But you just left. _You left Demetri._"

By now, I was panting and exhausted, my hands clutching my belly having fallen to my sides sometime during my tirade. Demetri had moved so that he was standing at the side of my bed, pain evident on his face. "You broke me. When I met you, I thought I was broken beyond repair, but you fixed me Demetri. You found my missing pieces and put me back together again. And then you destroyed me. You ripped me to pieces and left me to die." I whispered tiredly.

"I know. I know what I did was inexcusable. But I have a reason. Please Edward. Please let me explain myself," he pleaded. I sighed and looked at the forlorn expression marring his handsome features, marveling at how much power he still had over me. Even if he didn't know it. I nodded at him once, and dropped my gaze to the bed again, listening as he told me his story.

"Aro and I have a deal. He saved me from being mauled by a werewolf just ten years after I had been turned and brought me back to Volterra with him. At the time, I had nowhere to go, the vampire who created me left before I was fully turned. For those first ten years of my new life, I lived as a nomad, wandering from place to place, searching for somewhere I could settle in. Them I ran into the werewolf and met Aro.

"He must've seen some potential in me because he offered me a place in the Volturi guard. It was an honor to be asked but I didn't want to serve him full-time and told him as such. So we made a deal. In exchange for my service to him, I could have five years to do whatever I wanted anytime I asked. A sort of vacation if you will.

"It was on one of these vacations that I met you. It was nighttime and I was wandering around New York, marveling at the carefree lives humans seemed to live when I saw you across the street. You looked so devastated and broken that I had to talk to you, to see what was wrong. Never before had I seen a vampire look so lost.

"I remember it took a whole month of following you around, watching as you destroyed yourself every time you killed a human and pestering you with endless questions, before you finally decided to open up to me. The amount of pain and self loathing you held for your self was astounding and I felt so bad for you; especially because you were such a selfless person. There was no reason for you to feel to terrible.

"Then you told me about your past." At this thought, Demetri reached out and took my hand in his squeezing slightly. Sometimes I still feel like crying when I think about what _they_ did to me, so I let him hold my hand. I needed some kind of physical contact to ground me. He was wrong, I wasn't selfless at all. Before I could refute this though, Demetri was already moving on with his story.

"When you'd finally worked up the courage to return to Carlisle, I couldn't stand the thought of watching you leave. So I went with you and I think you secretly wanted me to come anyway. I loved the lifestyle he led. So calm and carefree. So different from that of the Volturi. He reminded me of my own father, someone you could always count on to be there for you. To protect you and support you, no matter what. From the moment we arrived, you fit right in, like a missing puzzle piece and I was able to see a different side of you.

"You were still so young and innocent, and at times, childlike. Yet, at the same time, you acted so grown up, far too old for your age. And you were so insightful and observant of the world around you. In all my years, I'd never met another vampire like you."

This time, it was me who squeezed his hand. Never before had I thought he saw me like that. It made me feel wanted, but sad because now that it's gone, I'll never have that again. Demetri smile at me sadly and squeezed my hand in return. My free hand went up to rest on my stomach as I waited for him to continue the story.

"I found peace with you Edward. You and Carlisle showed me the life I could've had if not for the deal I'd made with Aro. And so time flew by and soon my five years were up. I didn't want to leave the little bit of happiness I had found with you but to defy Aro would be the worst thing I could've possible done. Just the thought of leaving you hurt Edward. It hurt because I knew I would be causing you pain by walking out that door. You'd already been left behind too many times and there I was, about to do it again.

"I could've gone back to see you. We could've had another five years together but I didn't want you to wait for me. Didn't want you to watch me walk out that door each time, wondering if you'd ever see me again. You were still so innocent and young; I didn't want to do that to you. So I wrote you a note, packed up my things and left while you were in town. Carlisle tried to stop me but I was adamant. I didn't want to do that to you. It wasn't fair.

"But I never stopped thinking about you Edward. Never stopped loving you. And I know you think that I have but you're wrong. Nothing could ever change my feelings for you."

Demetri's eyes pleaded with me to understand and his grip on my hand was tight, like he was afraid I'd let go. I gave his hand another reassuring squeeze and tugged so that he'd sit down on the bed.

"You are forgiven Demetri. I love you too but I'm not ready to let you back in. Not ready to risk getting hurt again. I'm sorry." And it was true. Hearing his story gave me the closure I needed and his confession of love for me came as a shock but it made me feel so much better. It made me feel secure, but even though he loved me, he'd left without a proper goodbye. Without even telling me he was leaving. I didn't think I'd survive if he did that again.

Demetri shook his head at me and smiled gently. "Edward, I was looking to explain myself to you. I wasn't expecting for forgiveness but I should've known. You're always putting everyone else before you. You should know, I wasn't asking for you to take me back either. Clearly, your heart must belong to someone else now."

His words shocked me into stillness. I'd forgotten that he didn't know about what...Paul…did to me. How my baby was created. The thought brought back painful memories of _that night_ after the funeral and I held my belly tighter. Just as I was about to refute this, my stomach growled loudly and Demetri glanced down, surprised. Embarrassed, I looked away quickly but had to look up again when Demetri started laughing. He was laughing so hard he had to let go of my hand to clutch his stomach, and I pouted, which only made him laugh harder.

"What are you laughing at?" I demanded.

He stopped laughing and chuckled slightly because I was still pouting at him. "I was laughing because I was surprised, that's all. I assume you're hungry as that's what humans sound like when they're hungry. Would you like one of your brothers to carry you down?"

The question made me sad. Before, he wouldn't have hesitated to carry me down himself and this all seemed so formal in comparison. I wanted _him_ to carry me down. Now that he'd let go of my hand, I realized I needed the physical contact, so I could be sure this was real and not a dream.

I glanced up at him shyly and bit my bottom lip. "I don't want to bother them. Could you carry me down?" his eyes widened before he nodded slowly and bent down to pick me up. One hand on my back, the other under my knees. I leaned my head on his chest and he started down to the living room where my family was waiting.

**I think chapters are going to be a little shorter now since I'm really busy with school these days. If that bothers you, I'm really sorry :( So what do you think? Please review!**


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